From time to time, I’m asked what it’s like to be single for so long (in other words, all my life). Despite the release of recent U.S. Census numbers that half of the adult U.S. population is single, it’s still a curious state to some. Being single, to some, is still “not normal”. Being happily single is even “curiouser” to lots of people. Being single is definitely not a utopia (what is?), but there’s a lot about it that’s really good. Singles don’t always talk about it, but we live it and we just know it. Here’s a few examples:
- We tire of having to describe ourselves as happily single. It can seem silly and forced. Yet, if we don’t, too often others wrongly assume the opposite.
- We wish there was a really good “Rent-a-Guy” service, because sometimes we really need one: an escort to yet another wedding or black-tie event, somebody to pick up the dead bug in the den, to hug after a hard day, to move heavy boxes, for a little nooky. The way a Rent-a-Guy would work is “stay awhile…then please go home.”
- We don’t mind being single nearly as much as other well-intentioned (and some not so well-intentioned) people mind for us.
- We do a lot of things around the house in the nude — cook, clean house, watch tv–just because we can.
- We know ourselves. Being single means you spend a lot of time with yourself and, hopefully, have learned what makes you tick. We’re pretty comfortable in our own skin. Being happily single means we’ve settled in and built a pretty nice life for ourselves…because we’re not expecting anyone to do it for us.
- Our time and money are our own and we can spend it however we like. We love having the option to indulge in whatever suits us: travel, adventure, voluntarism, hobbies and pastimes that take as much time as we want to give, sleeping in, staying out, changing jobs on a whim, moving abroad…whatever we think of. Sometimes we take this freedom for granted because we forget that everyone doesn’t have it like this!
- We know that it’s not only fine to treat ourselves well, it’s a must. And there’s no guilt.
- Friends are not a second thought. We know that having good friends and being a good friend make all the difference.
- Our homes are just the way we want them. We have to remember not to cringe when visitors move our stuff, eat the last helping of pasta we were saving for tomorrow’s lunch, or talk and talk and talk. We’ve become used to quiet and we like it.
- We love having the option to say “it’s time for you to go home” and “yes, I’d like you to stay.” It’s totally up to us and it feels nice.
Being happily single, really, is about being comfortable with oneself, having healthy relationships, and knowing how to enjoy silence…so, the real secret to being happily single is that it’s the same as being happy, period.
So, all you Spinsterlicious ladies, what can you add to the list?