Every popular woman’s magazine has, at some point, run an article about things a woman should know by a certain age or lifestage. One of my favorites, by Pamela Redmond Safran, ran in Glamour Magazine. It’s a smart and fun list of her take on life’s milestones for the 30-year-old woman.
But there’s another list “out there” that makes me roll my eyes when I think about it. It’s about the milestones of adulthood and, even though I’m deep into adulthood chronologically, I don’t really qualify as an adult according to this list. You see, sociologists have traditionally defined “the transition to adulthood” as being marked by five milestones:
- Completing school
- Leaving home
- Becoming financially independent
- Having a child.
Did you see that? According to sociologists, I’m not an adult. I have not advanced to Stages 4 and 5; I’m stuck at Stage 3!! No husband. No kid. Yikes!
I’m feeling like this list might be a little outdated, so I’ve decided to make my own. This one is not about defining the milestones for adulthood; I’ll leave that to the professionals. My list is a lighthearted Spinsterlicious version of what single women everywhere should know, have or do:
▪ A few people she can call on when she wants to share news –good or bad– or she just wants to talk
▪ How to cook a weekend’s worth of great meals, at least one of which can be served in bed
▪ A good tailor..but also how to sew on a button, or repair a hem herself
▪ Which color lipstick makes her eyes glow
▪ A “placeholder” kind of guy (i.e., steps in when you need him, but isn’t around all the dang time)
▪ How to open a bottle of champagne…without the cork popping off and putting somebody’s eye out
▪ How to enjoy her own company
▪ An up-to-date passport
▪ A pair of great-looking shoes…preferably heels
▪ A dress that makes everyone go “wow”
▪ A job she enjoys
▪ A couple of ex-es who can still make her laugh
▪ A roadside assistance service
▪ A piece of really nice jewelry
▪ Long-term care insurance (if you’re over 50)
▪ Take a vacation… alone
▪ Take vacations, in general
▪ Mentor a girl/young woman
▪ Flirt every now and then
▪ Have her own home
I’m determined to change this notion that Singles are somehow “less than.” I’m also determined to remind people that single life can be full and really good. In that vein, what should we add to the list?