I hate online dating…most of the time. Too many of the guys who contact me clearly haven’t read my profile, or maybe they just assume they know more about what I want than I do. So, when I say I want a non-smoker, the smoker reaches out to me, anyway. Though my profile says I want a monogamous relationship, that doesn’t stop those who are looking for someone to “play” (which I’ve learned is what those in-the-know call sex with more than two people at the same time.) And then there’s the guys who turn out to be much older than their profile indicates or are not exactly divorced, but are thinking about it. I’ve lost the will to wade through all the nonsense. How do I find that needle-in-the-haystack when the haystack keeps getting bigger?
But sometimes I really like online dating. Or should I say “I used to really like it”. I’ve met some great guys online and a couple of them turned into long(ish)-term relationships. It’s been awhile since that happened, though. But, about a month ago I decided to give online dating another ‘go’ because I was stuck in a hotel during a blizzard in South Dakota and was running out of ways to amuse myself. So, I responded to a couple of guys who sounded interesting and normal. And we had a couple of nice phone conversations, then…nothing. They stopped calling/writing. Whatever… (So, to Nissa, who asked for an online dating update, this is it… but you can find more on what I think about online dating here and here.)
So, if I don’t like online dating, where do I meet men (asks, Dee, another Spinsterlicious babe). I don’t have a particular place to meet men, though I have learned that my chances of meeting someone increase tenfold when I’m out alone. And then I’ve met them almost anywhere: at the grocery store, walking down the streets of NYC, on airplanes or in the airplane lounge. Social events are another good option, except I don’t like going to social events alone. I’m an introvert and get easily overwhelmed if I’m around too many people for too long, especially if I don’t know them all. So, even though I know I should do more things alone when I’m hoping to meet someone, I usually don’t. I’d rather have a good time at the event with a friend, than go alone and not have as much fun just because I might meet someone.
Here’s how I met the last few guys I’ve gone out with for longer than a few minutes:
- introduced by a friend
- at a party
- at a restaurant bar
- while walking my dog
- at a funeral
It all seems so random, doesn’t it? I get a lot of requests to write about meeting guys, but I think I’m out of material…so I’m calling on you. (Apologies to my readers who hate when I write about dating.) I’d love to hear from you on where/how you met the last guy (or woman) that you kept around for awhile.