Today’s Guest Post is from Dee who will turn 35 in a few months and is contemplating this next phase of her life –perhaps as a single woman, but perhaps not.
Dee lives in Kansas City and works at a non-profit organization that focuses on education. In her spare time, she is a photographer who loves to shoot people and big cities. She is currently planning her third trip to Paris and plans to take a thousand pictures and eat many delicious pastries.
In her own words:
I was so happy to find Eleanore’s blog last year. In one of the first posts I read, she explained why having a husband and kids isn’t insurance to love and companionship for the rest of your life. Reading this blog has inspired me to evaluate my own life – what I want, what I don’t want and what would be nice, but certainly not a deal-breaker for a happy, fulfilled life.
In a few months I’m turning 35 years old. I know in the grand scheme of things, 35 is not old, especially, God willing, if I live to be as old as my nearly 100-year-old grandmother. But somehow this impending birthday has me sometimes keeping score of my life during moments of self-doubt.
No husband, no boyfriend, no kids – and here’s the scary part (or at least scary for me to come to terms with) – I really don’t care. But society keeps telling me I should care. It’s like, I don’t get flu shots, but everyone else seems to be doing it. So even though I don’t want a flu shot, I wonder, “What if I catch the flu and die?!”
But if I truly wanted a boyfriend, husband and/or kids (or flu shots), I’m sure I’d be actively pursuing getting them. Instead, I focus my time on my hobbies, work and personal development. I start to question myself though when I get questions like, “Are you dating anyone?” or “Do you want kids?” or “Why don’t you have this or that yet?” or “When are you going to…?” Just fill in the blanks. These questions remind that I’m nearly 35 and if I were following the socially accepted life path, I’d be way behind right now.
But I’m not following the accepted path – on purpose. I’m actively trying to figure out my own direction, create my own map and my own brand of happiness in the process. When I heard Eleanore talk about the Spinsterlicious life really being about creating a delicious life, I knew that I had to define, for myself, what delicious means to me. I know that I have to avoid comparing myself with anyone else like the plague if I’m going to succeed. So far, here’s what I’ve come up with. Everything on this list feels right to me. I invite you to create your own “Delicious Life List.” What better time than now with the upcoming New Year?
My Delicious Life List:
1. Freedom – I value my freedom. I love being child-free. I have no desire to have kids. Not saying that my feelings won’t change in the future; but for now, I’m comfortable with my decision to not be anyone’s mother (except perhaps to an adorable little doggy one day!).
2. Travel – I’ve always loved traveling. Though I admit travel has become a huge headache (TSA rules, delays, missed connections, tourist traps, etc.), I’m constantly thinking of where I will escape to next. For 2013 (and my 35th birthday year), I’m hoping to do two big trips: New York City and Paris – my two favorite cities.
3. Hobbies – I love to have time outside of my 9 to 5 to pursue hobbies. I know that if I had kids I’d resent not being able to have my “me time.” My hobbies are pretty solitary: writing, photography, reading and cooking.
4. Personal development – I’m kind of a self-help junkie and I’d like to get better at things like self-acceptance, patience and having good relationships. My delicious life is all about accepting who I am (an introvert who will never be a social butterfly) and not constantly wishing that I was like someone else or having someone else’s experience.
5. Home – While I do love to travel, I also love being at home (there’s a contradiction for ya). There really is no place like home. I don’t value the party life or a calendar filled with social engagements. I’m a homebody who loves to read books & blogs, watch DVDs and reruns of King of Queens. I also like to cook a good dinner and snuggle into my own bed at night. It’s okay that I don’t want to party or “put myself out there.” My delicious life is all about being happy and comfortable – and I get that at home!
So those are the things that I value as I approach this milestone birthday. Whatever age you’re turning in 2013, make it a memorable one! Until then, happy Spinsterhood! Make it delicious!
So, for the rest of you, what are some of the things you do that help make/keep your life a delicious one…Spinsterliciously so?