Linda Ricci, Spinsterlicious Lady, Has an Online Dating Story…or Two

Linda Ricci, witty lady, dating champ, and brave enough to escape corporate America to do lots of fascinating things, including starting her own line of  awesome jewelry and blogging about the intersection of technology, strategy, and psychology:  Today, she’s sharing her thoughts on a few of her online dating adventures.
Online dating is one of the joyful rites of passage that most late 30-something or 40-something single women eventually experiences. “Why not, right? I’ll give it a try.” Now mind you – I’m not sitting here sadly crying into my herbal tea with fading sugar plum visions of a big white floofy dress in my head. But I LIKE men, and am self-employed and work from “home” (my couch, mostly), so online dating is one of the few ways to meet them.

But oh the joys.

It started when I posted my real age (42). Nobody wanted to talk to me! No matches, no replies, nada. So I very scientifically started changing “variables” to see which would change the results. Shaving an inch off my 5’11” height?  No result.  2?  Still nothing.  Ok, height back to original.

Religion?  Also no discernable result.

Ok then – the “variable” I had always insisted shouldn’t make a difference: age.  I mean, I look about 34, so I lowered my age by a year.  Then again, then again, until I hit 39.

And the floodgates opened! But what did the gushing waters bring?  Such prizes as the 58- year-old grandfather who lives with his mother as the result of a traumatic brain injury. Seriously?  I didn’t think so.  And what kind of ego permits a 58-year-old man, living with his mother and with a traumatic brain injury, to think he has a rat’s ass chance in hell with someone like me?

What most astounded me though, was just the sheer number of profiles and emails sporting absolute gibberish.  Can no one string a proper sentence together?  Here’s an example – I never could figure out what he was talking about (a born and bred american IT specialist, his profile claimed). To this day I chuckle when I think about “without being sluggished” – it’s become a running joke of sorts between me and my friends.

My serious interest in possibly meeting someone to date rapidly turned into bemused anticipation of what ridiculousness would find me that day.
And some soul searching. Am I unreasonably picky? Do I have a right to expect more? And then the inevitable rebuttal – “Am I that desperate?”.  To which the answer is clearly “no.”
So, “adorned” with my sense of humor and a whole bunch of friends waiting for the latest wacky update, I will bravely continue my quest. 

Like Linda, I, (Eleanore), too, have had my share of online dating adventures.  Maybe I’ll blog about them someday.  In the meantime, I’d love to hear about yours. 
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4 Responses to Linda Ricci, Spinsterlicious Lady, Has an Online Dating Story…or Two

  1. Linda says: – what wasn't on the profile was the fact he lived with his mother as he can't take care of himself; so, a good deal older than me, living with mother, grandfather on his own, and then the brain injury (thoughtfully mentioned twice). It's not so much that he isn't worthy of love and all that, but I really had this moment of “THIS is one of my options?” At what point did I miss out on all the hot, interesting men and this is what I'm left with at 43?? 😉

  2. Josie says:

    You must be talking about me! I also found that 39 is the magical age but then the men are generally 53+ who contact me! And one of them lied about his age and was 58. I confessed my lie on the 2nd date,he waited 6 weeks!

  3. says:

    Oh geez, that age discrimination is so disheartening. That said, I didn't find the traumatic brain injury guy that off-putting (there but for the grace of god go I, and all that), but the second one was just gross.

    Actually, brain trauma guy did violate one of my online dating rules–when he listed his attributes he put “handsome” first. This is my pet peeve, especially when men list their requirements in a woman and start out with “attractive.” I ignore those profiles right away. Gross. I mean, at least give lip service to the concept that a person's personality matters more (even if really it doesn't).


  4. Lisa Bayne says:

    OK, take your story and add 15 years. I thought that honesty was the only way to go with my online profile. Hah! As a 57 YO woman, I get the 70 year olds! And when I find out that a man has shaved 10 years from his age on his profile, I wonder what else he is fudging about! So the question af age and online dating is rather a conundrum.

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