Love in the Time of Texts

I love texting.   I’m not sure somebody my age is supposed to love texting, if I judge it by the number of my comrades who I hear complaining about it.   To me, they sound a lot like the stereotypical codger who complained about those new-fangled horseless carriages, and whatever names they had for other emerging technology: the telephone, tv, music cds, email.   They certainly have the right to try to ignore what’s new(ish), but I always wonder “what are you afraid of”?   In every situation, we have the right to choose how much to engage with any technology…though completely resisting it can sometimes leave you left out. 

Whatever.  Back to why I love texting.  Especially when I’m dating.

(1)  Texting is fun.  It’s flirty.  Sometimes sexy.  It’s a tidbit of surprise in the midst of what might be an ordinarily fairly mundane moment.  An unexpected text from a cute boy is a delight.   “Hey beautiful”.*   “Can’t wait to see you tonight”.   “I want to wake up with you, sit with you at the breakfast table and look out the window sipping coffee”.   “You have a beautiful face and luscious lips”.   “Good nite, pretty”.   “U tickle my imagination”.   They always make me smile.  Sometimes blush.   I don’t always care if they’re even true.  They’re fun. Some of these guys somehow find a way to be slightly more expressive via text than they can ever muster live. 
(2)  Texting is efficient.  It’s a really good and quick way to communicate some much-needed information.  “I’ll be there in 10”.  “Here’s the address…”.  “What’s your dress size?”  “Where are you?”   You give/get the necessary info much faster and much less intrusively than with  a phone call.  I can answer a text when I’m in a meeting, in the doctor’s waiting room, or in a restaurant waiting for the other party.  Times when I’m less likely to answer or make a phone call.

(3)  Texting is a really good barometer of how the relationship is going.  See, texting is bad if it’s your primary form of communication.  When it becomes a substitute for real conversation, it’s time for me to pack my virtual bags.  I’m not even talking about break-up texts;  that relationship is already kaput.  I’m talking about two almost-relationships I had when the guys texted me a few times a day but couldn’t seem to be able to pick up the phone to call me.  An easy and early sign to bail.  Interestingly, one guy didn’t seem to understand why that was an issue.  Another reason to leave: he was obtuse.

And in the spirit of full disclosure, I must admit that I, too, have used texting as a proxy…as a distancing measure.  When I’m kinda half-in-half-out, but haven’t quite completely moved on I find myself sending more texts and making fewer calls.  Guilty.

As with all technology, it’s not the medium…it’s us.

*All examples of texts in this post are texts I’ve actually received.

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