Real-Life Fairy Tales

 

As you probably know, many of the followers of The Spinsterlicious Life are single because they choose to be. Others, however, are more reluctantly single. They would like to be married but it just hasn’t worked out for them…either a first-time go at it or a marriage that came to a premature end. Some of them politely (or not) “yell” at me that my single-is-ok mantra is over-rated.   They’re managing being single but would really like to be someone’s wife.  And I get it…kinda. Being single-not-married works for me though I do like being single-with-a-boyfriend. 


So, I’m dedicating this blog post to real life, grown-up fairy tales that end with great women –all friends of mine–getting what they want.   Helping keep hope alive…


Kacy is back with the man of her dreams…finally. They met approximately 15 years ago. They were both married to other people, but eventually found their way to each other.   In many ways, they seemed perfect for each other: both good-looking, savvy New Yorkers with big jobs and active social lives.  But then, somehow, he ended up married to someone else. Kacy was devastated. We all kind of were.  Over the years, Kacy dated but never found anyone who came close to Matt.   Life was good but it wasn’t as good as it would have been with Matt in it.  She hated, really hated being single.  Fast forward to today: A now-divorced Matt reappeared,  they’re back together, madly in love, and seem beside themselves with happiness. They’re both older and wiser, too, so they know better how to navigate things this time around. It looks good.


Liz was 40 years old and tired of dating. She wanted a husband and child and was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen.  She didn’t sit around waiting for Mr. Right, but she sure hoped to find him. In the meantime, she moved from her fancy one-bedroom apartment to an even fancier 6-room apartment that she gutted and renovated just the way she wanted. In the process, a friend mentioned that she knew a newly-divorced man who lived in Liz’s new neighborhood. They met, then married 2 years later. They seem really good together. Five years later, they adopted a beautiful baby girl.  Aaaah. 



Betty always wanted to be married with children, but once she got there, she sometimes struggled, much of it related to her loss of freedom.  She and her husband both have “lively” personalities so there was no one who was always the “voice of reason” (which made many of their fights funny to me… in an inappropriate way, I’m sure).  While she, from time-to-time, threatened to leave, he was always steadfast in his determination to keep his family together.  And stay together they have. The whole family (him, her, and the two kids) visited me this past Memorial Day weekend and it was a delight to have them. She may yell at me for saying this but I think he’s one of the best things that ever happened to her. They’ve found a nice groove and will be happily celebrating their 20th anniversary this year. She’ll probably threaten to leave a few more times, but nobody’s really listening anymore. We know better. They’re fine. More than fine, actually. 


So, I still believe in true love. I’m not sure I see enough of it, but it looks good when I do. Anybody else have a love story they want to share for the romantics out there who want to retire their Spinsterlicious card?


NOTE: The Spinsterlicious Life: 20 Life Lessons for Living Happily Single and Childfree—  is available here and  here, and on Amazon.

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8 Responses to Real-Life Fairy Tales

  1. Anonymous says:

    Good post!

    I don't have to look any further than my parents for some real-life fairy-tale. My mom and step-dad met when they were both still married to other people, but after their respective divorces, they found each other again. They just had their 20th wedding anniversary two days ago and they're still crazy in love.

    As for my biological father, he was a very unhappy man for most of his life, until he met my step-mom. In the few years that he had with her before he died of cancer, he changed into a truly happy man – nothing short of a miracle.

    I've been lucky to have seen such amazing examples of happy marriages in my lifetime (although I personally am single-at-heart).

  2. eleanore says:

    Thanks, everybody. I'm glad you're enjoying it…and thanks for participating in the discussion.

  3. Alex says:

    I like these abbreviated stories. A shot glass of happiness. =)

    I especially like your first story. Your friend could have chose to settle, but she didn't. That takes strength and guts to do.

    Good on her and nice post by you!

    Well done.

  4. Kathy says:

    I'm so glad I found this on yahoo! It's wonderful to note that whatever's meant to be will find its way back. I love a good love story.

  5. ClearGlass says:

    I’m just delighted to have found your blog. We are kindred spirits.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Love those stories… and I'm so glad I found this blog! Being single and child-free but hoping to find true love, yet also skeptical about marriage, it's truly refreshing to hear a point of view that I completely agree with. Love can and does happen, but I'm not putting my life on hold waiting for it, or settling for a situation that limits or hinders my growth.

  7. Tricia says:

    I could not agree more with Michael Ann… I have never once thought that you were criticizing love and marriage at all. Quite the opposite in fact. I remember reading something in your book where you said that you had, had many opportunities to marry, but that it never felt 'quite right'. I get this…. man do I get it.
    If I had settled with any one of the huge number of men I have dated, I would have beena frequent flyer at divorce court (no doubt).

    I have always said, it is better to be alone, than lonely with someone else.
    I also think that with these stories that you shared, there is a theme… these women hung in there for love, and did not settle. I wish more women would do this, and not run off after knowing the guy for a few months, thinking he will make life happily ever after (sad, but I still see this happening with my clients and friends)….

    Thanks for sharing these inspiring stories, and for being you.. it inspires me everyday, as the last single woman standing in my circles, that I am ok.. just as I am.

  8. Michael Ann says:

    Loved this post! I hope most people realize that you do not criticize love and marriage, you just acknowledge that it is not for you and not for everybody. And that it's ok to feel this way too. You can celebrate love with the rest of us. Who doesn't enjoy a good love story?

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