One of the first chapters of my book, The Spinsterlicious Life: 20 Life Lessons for Living Happily Single and Childfree is about my belief in the importance for spinsters and single women everywhere to maintain a sense of adventure. We are unencumbered and free from many of the responsibilities that wives and mothers have, and we should take advantage of it. There’s nobody to tell us what to do…or not do.
Part of being Spinsterlicious means we don’t have to live a routine life. In most cases, our time and money are our own and we can spend them however we want. We are free to try something different, change it up, have some fun…all without worrying about the impact it will have on our non-existent husband and kids.
Earlier this year, I found myself sharing this advice with a single friend of mine. She had the misfortune of losing her job and her lying boyfriend in the same week. She didn’t know what to do with herself. While she saw this as a double whammy of bad luck, I saw it as a fantastic opportunity. An opportunity to indulge in a little adventure.
She was close to a job offer at a big, traditional, decent enough ad agency in NYC. She also had a friend in Amsterdam who runs his own ad agency and who is always looking for freelancers. I suggested she get in touch with him. While the big ad agency job meant stability to her, all I saw was boredom…mind-numbing boredom at too early an age. Dashing off to Amsterdam sounded risky to her, but I saw excitement and adventure.
She is smart, outgoing, and self-sufficient. In my opinion it is way too early to settle into a boring daily routine (and by too early I mean younger than 90). I told her to “grab your passport, girl, and get out of here!”. The worst that could happen is that the Amsterdam adventure doesn’t work out long-term and she’d come back to that same job –or a similar job– at a big, traditional, good enough ad agency. Those kinds of jobs will always be there. But in the meantime, she will have lived in another country, experienced another culture up close, had some adventure and fun, and made some new friends…plus it’ll look good on her resume.
And I’m so glad she listened to me. After a 3-month trial over there, she has decided to move to Amsterdam full-time. I’m so proud of her. This is the kind of freedom and adventure she could easily take advantage of because she is single and childfree. Now, what’s my next adventure. And what’s yours?
Love it!
Great post. I did something similar when I was in my early twenties…and I keep looking at the horizon to do it again. I’m suck in a dead end job and living with my parents. Adventure seeks me.
I love this post. One of the things I most enjoy about being single is the fact that I can travel wherever and whenever I want. I make several solo road trips throughout the US each year and enjoy every minutes of them.
Glad it worked out for E’s friend but in this USA economy I would have advised her to take a steady job with benefits and hold on tight. That’s the down-side of being single–you’re the only income coming in.
I’m making more of an effort to travel these days, and have some solo adventures. Just got back from a weekend at a jazz festival, and I’m heading to London for a vacation in two weeks. I still wish I had a boyfriend/partner to share these things with, but I’m deeply aware of and grateful for my freedom.
I agree that a great boyfriend would be ideal for some trips…but I think to not venture out at all would be far worse.
Great post! It’s the thought of losing this kind of freedom that has me anxiuos about marriage. As much as I want marriage, I don’t want to have to give anything up to get it. Sounds typical huh. At least, at the moment I’m still unmarried (though engaged to be married)