Single in the USA…According to

Singles in America Match.comI spent a fun Saturday afternoon this past weekend with a bar full of bloggers.  We gathered to get out of the snow,  sample cocktails and other goodies, and to hear the results of the new The Single in America study sponsored by (which is also sponsoring this post.)

If you care to know how your own personal experiences of being single line up with those of 5000 other single Americans, it might be fun to take a look. The study has lots of  interesting (to me, anyway) factoids like the only thing married people miss about being single is having an independent schedule, that the number of women who want a commitment before having sex with the new guy is increasing, that 40% of people have fallen in love with someone who they did not initially find attractive,  and that most single men say they first fell in love at age 10. (I’m pretty sure that love at age 10 is probably different than love at age 30, but it’s a cute idea.)

It also has a lot of really obvious findings like almost everyone is looking for someone who respects them and that they find physically attractive,  most people think it’s rude to text on a date, and more and more people are communicating through text, email, and Twitter.

And it makes at least one claim that that I’m not sure I believe: that friends-with-benefits relationships are the new “pre-commitment” phase and are increasingly leading to long-term partnerships.  I’m skeptical about this one because there are some unknowns here, like how are we defining “partnership”? And is this really just wishful thinking or, worse, a state of denial?  I just don’t want young women to start thinking that having sex with men who aren’t their boyfriends is a good way to get them to become their boyfriend.

If you want to take a look at the presentation’s live stream on the YouTube Channel, click here.  And since I think a little healthy skepticism is a good thing,  if you want a counter-point to some of these findings, click here to see what singles expert, Bella DePaulo, PhD has to say about these findings.

And please check out some of the awesome sponsors who plied us with good food and Screen Shot 2013-02-11 at 9.24.57 PMdrink.



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5 Responses to Single in the USA…According to

  1. Dee says:

    Eleanore: Have you read DePaulo’s book, Singled Out? I’d be interested in your review as someone who is perfectly okay with your single status. I was just reading some reviews on Amazon, and I’m interested in your take.

    • Eleanore says:

      Hi, Dee: I recommend Bella’s book, Singled Out. It’s probably the first treatise on the subject of how Singles are treated differently than Marrieds in just about every life circumstance…and she backs it up with statistics and other facts.

  2. SuzyKnew says:

    Yeah, it’s rude to text on your first date. Just like it’s rude to text during an interview. I’m sorry to say that I’ve seen both happen…

  3. Thanks for mentioning my post, Eleanore. About that “finding” about what married people miss about being single: I’m guessing that provided a list of options. So people’s answers were constrained by the answers let them give. A far superior (but more time-consuming) approach, if you REALLY want to know what married people miss about being single, is to let them answer the question in their own words.

    Do you know whether gave people the list of answers they were allowed to choose from?

    I greatly dislike this survey and the resulting publicity, all of which reduce single people to daters and maters, with no friends, work, passions, or anything else that makes their lives meaningful.

    • Eleanore says:

      Bella, I believe they were all (or mostly) closed-end questions which, as you point out, limits people to pre-selected options. And, as you know, it’s always smart to take into consideration who is paying for the research; of course, Match wants us to primarily be daters and maters. They’re not going to publish findings that say “single people are fine being single”!

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