SY-Guy: Spinsterlicious Man of the Month!

 My good friend, who calls himself SY Guy, makes a good living as a Strategic Planner in the communications business and he has, apparently, learned to be pretty strategic in his love life, as well.  Here’s why I say this… in his own words:

Why I Appreciate Woman-Drama (The SY-Guy View)

She told her friend on the phone how so-and-so in the office was not carrying his weight.  It’s really upsetting her.  This guy has been a thorn in her side for months. On the phone she seemed to tell her the same story three times.  I can only imagine there were different nuggets of information or insight in each telling. I can only imagine each telling got a different response from the friend on the other end of the phone.  But I don’t know.  As a guy, things are black-and-white.  Not much nuance.  I report to someone on the phone what happened, and the buddy on the other end says, “He’s an idiot. [Pause]  “How ‘bout the Cub pitching staff this year?”

But I have come to appreciate woman-drama.  It gives color to my otherwise black-and-white world.  It brings me closer to the woman in my world.  And it gives me usefulness…
Women think guys don’t express their feelings well.  That’s no doubt true.  But part of the reason for that: we don’t have feelings to express.  Obviously I’m exaggerating and generalizing, a dangerous combination.  We do have feelings, of course.  But they are infrequent and rarely strong ones, unless someone has crossed us – somehow challenged our honor or masculinity or safety.  Otherwise we go through our day thinking fairly rationally about things.  So I enjoy living vicariously through the women in my life who have emotions.  Reds, greens and yellows in my otherwise black-and-white world.

And then when I was 45 I learned the power of “I’m sorry” – no, not as an apology to someone I wronged, but as woman-code for “I understand.” in response to something upsetting in their lives.  So now, when facing drama in my GF’s life I say, “I’m sorry.”  She responds, “It’s ok.”  And I get credit for being understanding, which helps us feel more intimate and that deepens our relationship.

And woman-drama helps me feel useful.  By being understanding (“I’m sorry”) but more importantly unfazed, I am helping her cope, by being calm, steady and clear-minded about what to do next.  At least I think she finds this useful.  I better ask…

Hmmm. I’m not sure if he’s being strategic…or he’s just really smart.  What do you think?

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One Response to SY-Guy: Spinsterlicious Man of the Month!

  1. CB says:

    haha! he is both..what a nice guy and sooo smooth

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