There is No Debate

What does Charlee– marketing communications whiz and long-time friend– think of all this single vs. married talk?  Well…I’ll let her tell you:

In Charlee’s words:

Ok, I understand it.  I have often indulged in it.  I’ve probably heard every angle and
argument for both sides of the issue.  So it should be no surprise when I say that I am officially tired of the debate — “Which is better, being married or single”?
The truth is that there are wonderful things about both…and downright messed up things as well.  Yet, single women want to be married, while married women mourn their days of single freedom.  Married women are accused by singles of being boring, insecure, or lost inside their husbands’ or children’s lives.   Single women are often characterized as man-stealing, desperate, and unfulfilled by their married counterparts.  So here’s my question:  Why must we always pine for “the other side of the fence”, or conversely, hate on those who occupy the terrain over there?
I grew up with three sisters, nine aunts, and a bunch of great friends.  Some married, some single.   Some were happy, some not.  I belong to a woman’s social organization, am active at my church, and have a young adult daughter whose friends are constantly seeking advice from a “woman of a certain age”.  Trust me, the discussion rages across all ages and walks of life –“Which is better…”?
I’ve spent a lifetime bonding with these various sisterhoods and we’ve shared (and
continue to share) many stories of love and betrayal.  And throughout these discourses what strikes me most is our honesty and boldness, our ability to make each other laugh when any one feels down, and our unhesitating willingness to impart strength when it is most needed.
If we can do this for each other, why can’t we do it for ourselves?  Instead, we spend hours longing for what we don’t have.  Hours not necessarily wasted, but perhaps misappropriated.  I say not necessarily waster because through it all, here is what I have come to know.  We each are unique individuals who possess the power to choose what
focus our life energies on.  Instead of bemoaning what could-have-would-have-should-have-didn’t-or-never will-happen, we have the ability to embrace the beauty and wonder of what is. We are who we are, right now. We can thoroughly enjoy this moment, this experience, and this journey.  And we can be at peace with it all—simply by choosing to.  When we truly embrace who we are, there is no debate.
Well, what do you think?  What’s the debate really about…that is, if there is a debate!  Is there a debate?
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This entry was posted in beauty, being single, Charlee, friendship, married, spinster, spinsterlicious, travel, women. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to There is No Debate

  1. Q Turner says:

    I always strive to be happy where I am, as I know that times can change with alarming speed and leave me groping to understand what's happened.

    I have cherished my single days, and I have cherished my couple days. It's important to live life NOW as much as possible!

  2. Cham says:

    Bella DePaulo has an interesting 3 part series currently be a posted and discussed about Why People Cling to the Idea of Marriage. That's a link to the first part of the series. The findings of the 7 studies are interesting if anything.

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