Valentine’s Day is Coming. Let’s Make It Fun!

Update: Giveaway Winners!

Congratulations to the three winners of The Spinsterlicious Life’s Valentine’s Day Giveaway: 

*Nita, of Durham, NC will soon be jazzing up her favorite outfit with a beautiful silk scarf by Camilla Olson.palepinkchiffon best one



*Leah, also of Durham, NC will be reading  my book, The Spinsterlicious Life: 20 Life Lessons for Living Happily Single and Childfree, in her spare time.2358441830_bde9329904_s Spinsterlicious FINAL cover




* And, Colleen, of Bowie, MD will soon be sipping her morning coffee from a Spinsterlicious mug!

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Many thanks, ladies, for your support!



When did Valentine’s Day become such a BIG deal? At some point when I wasn’t looking, cuore_5Valentine’s Day went from being a lighthearted fun semi-holiday -to- another over-the-top, loud, commercial *Holiday* accompanied by feelings of annoyance and angst for so many. It’s not really about “who do you love” anymore. It’s about gifts and lavish displays of…well, I’m not sure what.


Once I received a beautiful bouquet of roses from a guy I’d broken up with 6-8 months earlier. We really weren’t speaking and he’s not the sentimental type, so I was more than a little suspect. So I called the florist and learned that he had set up, years ago when we first started dating, an automatic “send her flowers on Valentine’s Day” thingy. So each V-Day when I was so pleased with his thoughtfulness, he really hadn’t given it much thought at all. Well, maybe the first time… I laughed and said nothing. It took him another 2-3 years to remember that he had me on automatic delivery and I continued to enjoy my flowers each year. It had nothing to do with him or V-Day; I just like pretty flowers.

And then there was the guy who “surprised” me with a ginormous 10-lb box of chocolates. And it was a surprise because I don’t really like chocolate, and he certainly should have known that because we’d talked about it many times. I guess he only pretended to be listening.


Despite all the fakeness around this holiday, lots of single women dread Valentine’s Day. (Actually, it’s no picnic for many women in relationships, either, as they fret about whether he will do the right thing and honor them with an “appropriate” tchotchke or event.) We need to change that.


For too many single women, Valentine’s Day is a loud reminder that they have no man (or woman, in some cases) in their life to love. It’s a loud reminder of their sad, lonely lives…even though most days their lives are not very sad and not that lonely. On Valentine’s Day it is. And the lead-up to it is fraught with anxiety because “whatever will she do” on this day when happy couples all over the country are celebrating? (Even though that isn’t really happening).

chillWhen I was a kid, I loved Valentine’s Day. I got such a kick out of giving out Valentine’s Day cards with big red hearts to all the people who made me happy. I gave them to my parents, my teachers, favorite classmates, my playmates, even the mailman. Back then Valentine’s Day was fun, and it was an excuse to tell the people who make you happy how much they mean to you. Romance had nothing to do with it when I was 10.


Every year, I hear from single women who are dreading Valentine’s Day. It seems to be even more anxiety –provoking than New Year’s Eve. Just like the long Christmas season has become less religious (for many) and more of a good excuse to (re)connect with people, I wish Valentine’s Day was less about romance and more about an opportunity to remind people or tell them for the first time that you enjoy them…they matter to you. A day to have a little fun.


When I’m not in a relationship on Valentine’s Day, I like to have a fun dinner or some other outing with people who make me laugh. Not a gloomy, woeful dinner with whiny people who are miserable about being single, but interesting and delightful people who happen to be single…single for now or single forever. It’s fun.


And this is what I recommend for everybody. Let’s reclaim Valentine’s Day and experience it the way we did when we were kids by injecting some lightheartedness into this day so fraught with emotion.

  • Have dinner with fun friends
  • Go bowling or plan some other group outing for people you know and enjoy but may 120px-Valentines_Day_Chocolates_from_2005not see as often as you’d like. It’s a great excuse to reconnect!
  • Volunteer at a nursing home or children’s organization and surprise them with V-Day cards and trinkets so they can share in the day’s fun
  • Treat yourself –and maybe even someone else- to flowers. Flowers can brighten anyone’s day!
  • Buy a pack of Valentine’s Day cards and give them to anybody and everybody you want.

Let’s make Valentine’s Day about love and luv, not just romance…love of great people in your life…love of laughter…love of life. And you don’t need a date for that! Make it fun and it will feel real good!

And in the spirit of fun, The Spinsterlicious Life is hosting a Valentine’s Day Giveaway. We’ll hold a random drawing on Feb. 15 from Comments on this post regarding your thoughts and feelings about Valentine’s Day. Up for grabs is this scarf by Camilla Olson, a copy of my book —The Spinsterlicious Life— and a Spinsterlicious mug. Just for sharing your Valentine’s Day thinking. How easy is that?

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12 Responses to Valentine’s Day is Coming. Let’s Make It Fun!

  1. Megan says:

    My ex had that same “standing” order policy for 3 dates each year (Valentine’s, Mother’s Day, and our Anniversary). The same bouquet every time–despite my occasional suggestion that something besides a dozen red roses would be nice. But his account must have had a reminder notice since he managed to cancel the flowers when we separated (and I know he didn’t remember to cancel many of his other automatic subscriptions!)

    There are some things I don’t like doing alone, but Valentine’s Day isn’t one of them. I have no shame about picking out my own chocolates!

  2. Kristina says:

    I really enjoyed reading this article. I am single and actually really excited for Valentine’s Day! A few of my girlfriends and are going to go out to dinner, drink some wine and probably see a movie. I definitely appreciate Heather Kaye’s comment about Galentine’s Day because that’s definitely my friends and I are going for; just a group of strong women having a fun night out with people they care deeply about. I have never celebrated Valentine’s Day with a significant other but I hope to some day. But for now, it’s Galentine’s Day ALL THE WAY! 🙂

  3. dclicious says:

    What a hoot and a holler!!!!! Have decided my Valentine does not give me enough attention so am moving on (amicably). Maybe I’ll get a quick bowling party going.

    One of my favorite memories is not about my Valentine’s Day but a story of a little boy…. I was in the checkout line at the Safeway in front of a mom and the cutest little boy. He had several valentine cards and candy in his hands and was clearly trying to decide how many he could afford. He was so cute (wish he was 3o years older). When I paid my bill I handed the cashier an extra $20 and told him he could have it all since his spirit was so generous and he was so cute? I’ll never forget the look of wonder and happiness on his face—and his mom’s too.

    Question: What do folks think about setting up a date for Valentine’s Day?

  4. Dee says:

    To be honest, I could care less about Valentine’s Day. I have never felt bad about being single on Valentine’s. I think it’s kind of a stupid holiday in some ways and another way for Hallmark to cash in! It certainly should not be used as a measuring stick to see how much someone loves you by what silly gifts they give you on this day. How are they treating you all the other days of the year?!

    I used to go out for a girlfriend’s dinner on Valentine’s in years past, but that was always someone else initiating it. It’s just no big deal to me. I doubt it would matter to me even if I weren’t single. I’m just not that into it.

  5. Kathy Vega says:

    On Valentine’s Day, I ask myself who should I show some love to and “me” comes to mind. To me Valentine’s Day is more about “love” than whether you are paired up with someone. How many days do you do something really great for yourself? We go out of our way for others, we work hard, and often times put everyone else first.

    It is a fun exercise for me to come up with a plan for the day…could be a spa day, buy a piece of jewelry that each time I wear it I feel a positive affirmation, maybe do something a little daring. But many years I choose to do something special for someone less fortunate than me, often makes the feeling of love stronger and more meaningful with the sense of giving back.

    I believe that the more happiness you bring into your own life, the more love grows and flourishes. Over time this love overflows, bringing love and fulfillment into your heart, not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day.

  6. Shirley says:

    I love any holiday. For Valentines I like to decorate the house with hearts, pink and red, put out sweets, and bake cupcakes. Last year I printed out Valentine crossword puzzels and other games and attached them to my Valentines wishes. I had a lot of fun with it, probably more than those that recieved them.
    For March its St Patty’s day with green drinks and cookies…

  7. Carolyn B says:

    When I was working, Valentine’s Day was a great day to be the receptionist (my job) and my favorite day at work all year long. I’d be the first to see the floral delivery people walk in the building, then into our office. I’d have the special honor of making a co-worker’s day by paging her to the front for her delivery and watching her squeal with delight when she saw her bouquet. It was even more fun when the husband would sneak in to personally deliver the bouquet as all staff who saw him followed him back to the wife’s office to hear her reaction.

    Who cares if none of the bouquets were for me? Chocolate truffles were on sale. I could buy them for myself & they didn’t need water. 😉

  8. Ms.Sasser says:

    Valentines Day for me and my single friends has always been a “celebrate being single day”. We get a group of people together, male and female, go have appetizers and drinks and then hit a movie. This year we’re going to see Beautiful Creatures and I’m looking forward to seeing everyone. The bottom line is why spend Valentines Day with one person when there are so many we love?!

  9. Janine says:

    Or even better, since it IS so commercialised, we could treat it like any other Thursday. In other words, I’ll be on deadline, then be too stuffed to actually do anything, like I was last night, and crash with exhaustion. And on the way home, if I do pass any fancy restaurants, I’ll feel a little sorry for all the awkward looking people feeling pressured to look like a picture of romance twirling their cliched single-red-rose while possibly thinking, “Do I really have to put-out at the end of this dinner? I’m feeling way too tired and bloated from all this food.”

  10. Nita says:

    I have been single for nearly five years. Since I’m finally truly beginning to enjoy my single life, I have a unique and charitable way to enjoy v-day. I will be “auctioned” off for charity for Valentine’s day. The money goes to a rape crisis center, and the “winner” will take me for a night out, for just a few hours, nothing serious. It’s just for fun and charity. No stress, just fun. And, it’s for a good cause.

  11. heather_kaye says:

    My favorite thing right now is Galentine’s Day from Parks and Recreation – Leslie nails it with her fierce embracing of her dear friends. It’s not for the single ladies or the other halves of couples – it’s a wonderful, indulgent day with her friends. There’s much to love about that show, but Galentine’s Day puts it right at the top of my list.

  12. Leah says:

    Whether I’ve been single or coupled. I’ve always enjoyed the non-traditional Valentines’ events more than any attempt at romance on this over-commercialized, high pressure day. Watching movies with my girlfriends, sharing treats with people at work. It’s also just a good time to practice acts of kindness. This year V-day comes close to Purim, a Jewish holiday which is kind of like reverse-Halloween (you dress up in costumes and go door-to-door bringing other people sweets). So instead of valentines, I’m going to send out Purim treats (some of which are donations to a food bank) and make people smile.

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