I’m wasting a perfectly good Saturday this weekend to attend a wedding. I always have such mixed feelings about these things. The bride and groom are good friends of mine and I’m happy they’ve found each other (a Match.com success story), but weddings usually bore me: it’s like watching the same play over and over, just with different actors. Of course there are moments of happiness, laughter, fun, and good food and drink, but it’s spread over way too many hours of “not much”. I usually spend some of that time pondering ways to shorten a wedding and reception, start-to-finish, to 2-3 hours. Most wedding events take twice that amount of time, during which I try hard to remain social while really wanting to tiptoe out…without being rude.
My “date” for this wedding is a good Spinsterlicious friend of mine. Together, we’ll figure out a way to make it fun.
The one thing I want to commend the bride on is that I, a single woman, was allowed to bring a guest. Huge kudos to her because so many people don’t extend this courtesy to single people and it annoys the heck out of me. So much so that I’ve turned down some wedding invitations when I didn’t want to go alone. Other times, I’ve left early because I’m just not that good at working the room by myself and I no longer feel like I have to try, if I don’t want to.
So it was really timely when someone sent me a link to this article by Meredith Goldstein in the Washington Post called Twelve Tips for Singles at Weddings. The author gets it. I think her tips are smart. Except for #11. I think she must’ve been drinking when she wrote that one.
Anyway, here’s a truncated, sometimes paraphrased, version of her list.
1. If you have to travel out of town, stay with the group. Stay where other people are staying so that it’s easy to be included in the pre- and post-wedding activities.
2. Eat. Enjoy the cake. Don’t deny yourself.
3. If you’re traveling, don’t be cheap. Treat yourself to your own room. Make it into a mini-vacation.
4. Show up in pictures. You’re part of the moment, so make it known. Remember to look cute.
5. Table hop. She says to find a new table if you don’t like the one you’re at. I love this one. I’m sure some brides or whoever did the seating might not approve…but so what. The should have set me with “better” people.
6. Help. Give yourself something to do, if you’re feeling aimless or losing your mind. Something like taking pictures or volunteering to lend a hand to someone who needs it. I think this is a good idea…but one I’m likely not to do. I’m not usually looking for work.
7. Take in the sights. Again, if you’re traveling, treat it like a mini-vacation; build in some fun. If there’s something interesting nearby –a park, restaurant, cultural event– take advantage of it.
8. Don’t overthink it. The wedding doesn’t mean anything about your life and where you should be. I love this one, and it’s great to be reminded. I think we sometimes bring our own baggage/issues…unnecessarily.
9. Try a new outfit. It might be fun to try out a new look, especially if you don’t know a lot of people in attendance.
10. Ask one person to dance. Or more than one. Be bold. Pretend you’re at a club.
11. Play with the kids. This is the one where I think she’s a little nuts, but that’s just me. I’m not even thinking about doing this one.
12. Get yourself adopted. Make a friend or two–even if it’s a couple– and hang out with them. More than one person is almost always more fun than being by yourself in this situation.
You can read her whole article, here.
Do you have any wedding-survival tips for Singles that you can add to this list? Please share…