As soon as Labor Day is over, it seems the big holiday season is upon us. And so the stress begins. Holidays can be challenging to just about everybody. There are decisions to be made, plans put in place, and money to be spent. And while this is true for everyone, many single people feel an extra layer of stress.
The holidays would be tough if I didn’t have a loving network of people around me. I make it work. For example, I often host Thanksgiving for what I call my “straggler” friends: it includes single people, those who can’t or don’t want to get with their family, people whose plans changed at the last minute, and couples without children. (I have to draw the line somewhere).
The holidays get a bad rap, though, because they’re often quite good: there’s the feeling of festivity in the air, the parties, the gifts, the music, and catching up with people you like but haven’t seen in awhile. And some things about being single are actually better during the holidays because we have more flexibility and fewer rules what what one is supposed to do. Here are a few:
▪ You don’t have to get a tree. Trees are festive, but the needles, the watering, and the 
space it takes up –especially in a small apartment–…well, they’re a lot of work. If you have kids and/or a husband, you might not be able to get away with not having a tree. It would be way too bah humbug. But when you’re single, you can be more creative. Put up a wreath, buy a few poinsettias…and done!
▪ No baking or cooking. And if you do, people make a very big deal about it. “Wow, look at what the single lady pulled off!”
▪ And just as good, no one really expects you to send holiday cards. These days, holiday photos of well-dressed children and/or children placed in really cool, interesting spots (at the family beach house, Macchu Picchu, etc) are the norm. If you don’t have children, no need to send a card. No postage, no paper waste, and no idea-generation on cute outfits or cool spots for the pictures. If you’re married and don’t send cards, you could be stricken from every card list, no matter how old or dear the friendship. But as a single person, no one seems to mind.
▪ You don’t have to accompany the husband or kids to parties you don’t really want to go to.
▪ No in-laws to fight with or about. This is always an issue with my married friends and they tell me this fight can get old really quickly…and yet it must be had every year.
As a single person, it’s particularly important to nurture your relationships because I
really don’t think we’re necessarily supposed to go through life completely alone and that’s where good friends come in…during the holidays, and all the other days. Don’t lose your mojo by dreading the holidays. Celebrate in a way that works for you!
What tips and tricks can you share for the Spinsterlicious audience to really enjoy the holiday season…her way? Happy Holidays!
For myself, I participate in most festive activities that come my way because I really enjoy Christmas. Holiday work party? I am there. Girlfriend holiday house party? Count me in. I also participate in cookie exchanges (I LOVE to bake) and gift exchanges. For my bookclub group, we exchange presents and have a yearly party. It is really fun and none of the women who have kids and a hubby are allowed to bring them. I also shop and get gifts for my friends and family members with children. I don’t mind that although, yes it is very expensive but I have a strict budget. I ensure that I go home and spend the holidays with my family and see all of my friends who live close. We don’t all exchange gifts but it is important to keep up the cheer at this time of year. Also, I cook and bake as much as I can. Sharing for me is a joy so bringing in a fresh cake or cookies during the holidays (or anytime really) for my colleagues is fun. The same goes for my family.
I love your attitude, Rhona!
Terrific advice, as always.
Eleanore – I call the in-laws the “out-laws” !!!!!
Last year was the first year I was all alone on Christmas (having recently moved five hours away from friends/family) and while I do enjoy the festivities of it all and didn’t think I would be ‘lonely’ I devised a plan ahead of time for that day; I came up with a project. The funny thing is that I don’t remember what exactly I created but I know I was in Lowe’s on Christmas Eve getting my supplies and it kept me busy through the next day. I even had a little nice meal for myself.
This year, one of my friends will be in town with her family and she has invited me over there.
I don’t normally get gifts for people; I’m more of a charity donater myself, so that isn’t an issue.
Great post. I have to remember to buy myself something(s), without guilt.
Thanks for the reminders. I just blogged about feeling blue during the holiday season. xx Stella